Nifty coupon + bonus panic attack

couponbizcard The Lord Jester's Legacy is going to have a little debut at Orycon 34. I don't think very many people know about it yet.  I'm not sure if having coupons and postcards out on the freebie table will help or not. I guess I'll see.  

I have mixed feelings about becoming more public, assuming that happens.  Some people, I guess, assume that becoming well known or even better known will be a positive experience full of photographers and magazine articles and television interviews.  For whatever reason I assume that public exposure will lead to rejection, mockery and a forced retreat where I have to change jobs, locations, etc.

I get that feeling with this coupon too.  I automagically assume that whoever downloads the book will get maybe through the first couple of pages, think meh, and delete it.

So why in the world would I do this?  I think writing might be a form of mental illness.  There are probably lots of different ways this disorder manifests, but I think the two most common are those that assume everyone will love their writing and always blame lack of exposure if they don't experience success, and those like me, who expect that everyone will think their writing is lame but expose themselves because they're masochistic in a weird, specific way.  Because I'm not masochistic in any other way that I can think of.

Except how I try to keep a way bigger garden than I can manage.
Or how I have too many animals and keep thinking about getting more (I probably will this coming spring.)

I think the people who read fantasy and science fiction are particularly prone to this.  Are there actual people who just read it, or is every last SF/F reader also a writer, either overt or a closet one?  Is this prevalent among romance readers too?

What have I gotten myself into?

Deep breaths.  Not panicking.  Just enjoying the moment until I get back into writing again. 

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